I’m graduating from university in April. Oh yes. It is happening. And I am simultaneously super excited, and a tad bit terrified.
On one hand, I am so, so ready to be done with school. I am ready to be finished staying up all night writing papers and studying for exams. I am ready to have time to do something other than homework, work, and sleep. I am ready to start life after school.
*student loans cackle in the background at the thought of there ever truly being life after school*
I have been craving big changes for awhile now; it is what led me to chop off all of my hair back in August and then to dye it black again a few weeks ago. I’ve been actively trying to find myself in pretty much every sense of the word, and I’ve been making progress in baby steps, but there is only so much I can do right now. Once I graduate nothing is really holding me here anymore. I can- and need to- go out and rediscover the adventurous, take no prisoners version of me that I have so heavily neglected the past few years. And I am so ready to go find her.
I am also impossibly excited to have more time to dedicate to making and doing awesome, creative things. I want to start making music again. I want to spend a whole weekend writing without feeling guilty for not studying. I want to finish writing Disinherited because I just have such a good feeling about this one. I find inspiration everywhere I look now; I am more motivated to create than I have been since I was just a little kid and I cannot wait to have more time to spend creating.
On the other hand, I am not really sure where I am going. I know what I want to do; I want to move to the northwest- Seattle, Portland, Northern California, something like that- preferably to a writing job or something of the like. I’m basically planning on applying to a job a day starting in February-ish, but of course there are no guarantees. And even if I did get a job, would I actually be able to afford to move myself across the country? So then I think that maybe I’ll just stay in Michigan a little longer, saving up money to make the move. But I wouldn’t be able to afford rent and everything else on my own with just my part time job at Barnes and Noble, and even if I could I would never be able to save up enough to leave. Of course I have the option to move back home, which would make it possible to save up much more money much more quickly, but it means leaving my Barnes and Noble and hoping the store back home would let me transfer. And on top of everything there is some personal stuff going on that is complicating everything so much more.
It is scary having so many questions and so few answers. And it is a strange feeling to be so eager for something when I have no idea what I’ll be doing on the other side. But I am still really excited. Yes, a lot of things are changing soon. And some of those changes, willing and needed as they might be, are going to be really hard to adjust to. But even with all of that, even with not knowing exactly where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing 7 months from now, I am so read for my next adventure.
I would love to hear from anyone going through something similar, or from anyone who has gone through something similar. Are any of you planning to make some big changes after graduation, or for any reason in the near future? I’d love to know what you’re doing! And if you want to keep hanging out with me- maybe see what the answers to these questions end up being a few months from now- you can follow my blog with the Bloglovin clicky to the right or on Facebook if that is more your scene. Oh! And if any of you are doing Selfie Sunday or have any similar lifestyle series running please leave me links! (:
*The terrible photo quality of this Selfie-Sunday is brought to you by my outdated Galaxy S3. I was having battery issues with my camera, so I had to make do. *shrugs**